darling, you've always had potential to be absolutely brilliant. someone as beautiful as you has every right to be sad, we all feel that way, it's awful but i feel like it's become "normal". do what makes you happy and if you're lost on what does then try new things and push yourself. you are young and adventure is endless, mistakes will be made but never regret anything, just live and learn. considering at the end of the day all you have promised is yourself, you do what's best for you. i'm always here for you, even if it's in another country and i'm on at odd hours. don't let anyone dull your sparkle. love you!