Happy Friendistary! (That's what you called it, so I'm going to stick with it. Anyways, I had to log on to say this)
4 years ago, I introduced myself to my very own superhero. I was probably more like the villain in your life, but rest assured, since the very beginning, you've always been someone I respected and treasured. Regardless of what has happened in the past, I still and will always think highly of you. I know I've been the worst friend, claiming I forgave you but then got angry the next second. Like I said before, it's extremely difficult for me to forgive someone who means so much. And I just really, really missed you, but was clueless as to how I should have expressed it. I went through a lot, and always looked for you to be there. When I needed you the most, you were never around. Yet I had no right taking my anger out on you. But as you said, I'll forget the past, forgive you, and move along on my own page. I know it doesn't mean a lot coming from me, but just know that at one point in time, someone in the world thought the very best of you. It may only be words, but hopefully in your darkest days, they're enough to get you by. I know I said I wouldn't come on, but I didn't want to leave, knowing that our friendship had come to a bitter end. I am extremely blessed to have made it to at least 4 years with you, Buddy. I wouldn't have spent it with anyone better because you were truly the best friend I ever had. I thank God that He gave me the opportunity to meet you. I hope you continue to smile genuinely and live your life to its greatest potential. Thank you, John. - vona
Next time, don't tell someone that you'll be there for them if you're not. I hope you find another buddy who wasn't as pathetic as I am. I'm sure you'll find that person easily. And replace me as fast as you can.
Hey, as much as I hate putting cheesy comments on your page, I needed to tell you this before I go. Despite all that's happened, you're still the best friend I ever had. And although I didn't really mean all that much to you, you're someone I highly respect and a person I truly looked up to. Just letting you know that I won't be coming back here. So you'll know beforehand. Thanks for sticking by me for as long as you could.
You're the best, buddy.
I'll say this once and I'll say this now. I could care less if I embarrass myself in front of all your friends on here. Since you're already so ashamed of me. I'll make a fool out of myself even more, even if it's coming out of my ugly heart.
Since you deleted me from everything else and this is the only way I could talk to you, I can only tell you this here.
You probably meant more to me than you ever knew or will know. But when you leave, it makes me feel like I did something so horrible. I'm left wondering what I did so bad to make you disappear all of a sudden. And you may say, no "it's not about you Vona. Why do you always think it's about you?" And I get that. I understand that I'm not that important to you. You've given me that message loud and clear. For these past few years, I was nothing but someone you threw away in the sidelines. And while you were away, I always cheered you on and prayed for your safety. But you never came back. And whenever you did, you acted as if you did nothing wrong. And you never made up for your mistakes. Is this what friendship means to you? Running away from someone who cares about you and then coming back all of a sudden in hopes everything you did will be erased and you'll be forgiven? I hated myself for a very long time because I blamed myself for you disappearing. And I don't think my self-hatred will ever go away. I never got any messages back, no replies even when I was begging. But as soon as I tell myself you're not coming back, you suddenly appear out of nowhere happy and carefree. You wrote in your last email to me that you would email me every Sunday so I would know how you were doing. And then seconds after I got that email, Luke said you were suddenly gone. And I was so confused and hurt. Like what did I do or say? What happened? Is John okay? Please, please tell me is he okay? And I hoped to God that it was just a little break and you'd come back. But I never got anything back. And when you did come back, you never looked for me. Only here in this site where everyone hates me. When you backstabbed me, and even when you left so many times before, I forgave you. When you talked so much smack about me to your friends and ran away from everything, I forgave you. And now you're back here, on email,and cr and wherever else, asking people for their numbers and contact info, while I'm left in the dark, as always, forgetting I left you so many unanswered text messages, emails, and whatever else I pleadingly sent you. And to this day, those lame messages I sent you are left unanswered. (I even begged you repeatedly and patheticly to fix your iPod. What a stupid idiot I am because you never did.) I know I'm the stupidest, piece of shit you and anyone else has ever met, but I don't think you would go that far. Don't force yourself to be my friend and pretend to comment me on here for pity. I'd rather pat myself on the back than lean on someone with a knife, ready at their other hand. And I know what people will say, "John is a good guy, you're the overly sensitive bitch, Vona lol" That's okay because I'm used to being pushed around and called vulgar names, even by the people who matter most to me. And even if you continue calling me vile things, shit talking behind my back, and leaving, I'd forgive you. I always will. Because to me, as cheesy and corny as it may sound, you were truly a blessing. And I'll always thank God that He put you in my life even if it was for a few years.
There's more I wish I could say, but I'm going to swallow up the rest of my words like I always do. I'll leave these pathetic words on your page and make myself look like a bigger fool than I already am, haha. Take care of yourself.
Posted on: Nov 5th 2013, 3:18:16am
Posted on: Nov 2nd 2013, 4:18:30pm
Posted on: Oct 9th 2013, 3:20:32am
(That's what you called it, so I'm going to stick with it. Anyways, I had to log on to say this)
4 years ago, I introduced myself to my very own superhero. I was probably more like the villain in your life, but rest assured, since the very beginning, you've always been someone I respected and treasured. Regardless of what has happened in the past, I still and will always think highly of you. I know I've been the worst friend, claiming I forgave you but then got angry the next second. Like I said before, it's extremely difficult for me to forgive someone who means so much. And I just really, really missed you, but was clueless as to how I should have expressed it. I went through a lot, and always looked for you to be there. When I needed you the most, you were never around. Yet I had no right taking my anger out on you. But as you said, I'll forget the past, forgive you, and move along on my own page. I know it doesn't mean a lot coming from me, but just know that at one point in time, someone in the world thought the very best of you. It may only be words, but hopefully in your darkest days, they're enough to get you by. I know I said I wouldn't come on, but I didn't want to leave, knowing that our friendship had come to a bitter end. I am extremely blessed to have made it to at least 4 years with you, Buddy. I wouldn't have spent it with anyone better because you were truly the best friend I ever had. I thank God that He gave me the opportunity to meet you. I hope you continue to smile genuinely and live your life to its greatest potential. Thank you, John. - vona
Posted on: Oct 2nd 2013, 5:07:41pm
Posted on: Sep 29th 2013, 9:05:48pm
Posted on: Sep 29th 2013, 8:21:53pm
Posted on: Sep 29th 2013, 6:47:23am
And I would take back all the things I did if I could.
Honestly. I'm so sorry.
Posted on: Sep 29th 2013, 5:53:37am
Posted on: Sep 29th 2013, 5:32:00am
I never made you the bad guy. You never stood up for me
Posted on: Sep 29th 2013, 5:22:52am
I never made you the bad guy. You never stood up for me
Posted on: Sep 29th 2013, 5:22:35am
Posted on: Sep 25th 2013, 12:56:21am
You're the best, buddy.
Posted on: Sep 23rd 2013, 5:44:26am
Posted on: Sep 17th 2013, 10:36:50pm
Since you deleted me from everything else and this is the only way I could talk to you, I can only tell you this here.
You probably meant more to me than you ever knew or will know. But when you leave, it makes me feel like I did something so horrible. I'm left wondering what I did so bad to make you disappear all of a sudden. And you may say, no "it's not about you Vona. Why do you always think it's about you?" And I get that. I understand that I'm not that important to you. You've given me that message loud and clear. For these past few years, I was nothing but someone you threw away in the sidelines. And while you were away, I always cheered you on and prayed for your safety. But you never came back. And whenever you did, you acted as if you did nothing wrong. And you never made up for your mistakes. Is this what friendship means to you? Running away from someone who cares about you and then coming back all of a sudden in hopes everything you did will be erased and you'll be forgiven? I hated myself for a very long time because I blamed myself for you disappearing. And I don't think my self-hatred will ever go away. I never got any messages back, no replies even when I was begging. But as soon as I tell myself you're not coming back, you suddenly appear out of nowhere happy and carefree. You wrote in your last email to me that you would email me every Sunday so I would know how you were doing. And then seconds after I got that email, Luke said you were suddenly gone. And I was so confused and hurt. Like what did I do or say? What happened? Is John okay? Please, please tell me is he okay? And I hoped to God that it was just a little break and you'd come back. But I never got anything back. And when you did come back, you never looked for me. Only here in this site where everyone hates me. When you backstabbed me, and even when you left so many times before, I forgave you. When you talked so much smack about me to your friends and ran away from everything, I forgave you. And now you're back here, on email,and cr and wherever else, asking people for their numbers and contact info, while I'm left in the dark, as always, forgetting I left you so many unanswered text messages, emails, and whatever else I pleadingly sent you. And to this day, those lame messages I sent you are left unanswered. (I even begged you repeatedly and patheticly to fix your iPod. What a stupid idiot I am because you never did.) I know I'm the stupidest, piece of shit you and anyone else has ever met, but I don't think you would go that far. Don't force yourself to be my friend and pretend to comment me on here for pity. I'd rather pat myself on the back than lean on someone with a knife, ready at their other hand. And I know what people will say, "John is a good guy, you're the overly sensitive bitch, Vona lol" That's okay because I'm used to being pushed around and called vulgar names, even by the people who matter most to me. And even if you continue calling me vile things, shit talking behind my back, and leaving, I'd forgive you. I always will. Because to me, as cheesy and corny as it may sound, you were truly a blessing. And I'll always thank God that He put you in my life even if it was for a few years.
There's more I wish I could say, but I'm going to swallow up the rest of my words like I always do. I'll leave these pathetic words on your page and make myself look like a bigger fool than I already am, haha. Take care of yourself.
Posted on: Sep 17th 2013, 10:31:28pm